Amber Stephens

I have been meaning to write this vignette (or will try to keep it vignette) as a way of venting my agro tale of Amber-gate. My friend that's a boy texted me soon after new year, writing just 2 words AMBER STEPHENS.... He must have sent this by accident, I thought. I called him, to be met with a very hostile and defensive tone. 'Tell me what you know about Amber Stephens?' he fired. 'Nothing, never heard of her'... Many heated minutes later and he simply would not not let it lie, convinced that I knew something about this mysterious name AMBER STEPHENS.
I eventually got off the phone, telling him that if he wanted to fall out over this, then so be it. I DON'T, DIDN'T, DO NOT KNOW WHO AMBER STEPHENS is, was, or who she would eventually turn out to be. I immediately Facebook'd, bebo'd,linkedin'd, twitter'd and bitter'd... and all I got was Amber Stephens author of 'The Secret Diary of a Sex Addict'. The plot thickened.
Weeks later, my friend that's a boy was still convinced that I was behind Ambergate.....
He finally divulged that Amber was a girl on a dating website that had been messaging him. She told him that she had great pins (with photos to prove) and that she wanted to be tied up with those plastic tie things (the ones you use to trellis your roses), be locked in the back of a van and kidnapped. Not sure what this says about me, but MFTABoy was convinced that it was me, Charrington alias Stephens....
I made him send a message to the adventurous Amber while we were together in the hope that she would reply and he would finally believe that I was not, am not, could not be, Amber Stephens..... I said he could tie me up with plastic ties just to make doubly sure that I couldn't sneak upstairs and email from another computer.... anyway she never replied to his email asking her 'What books do you like reading?' Quelle surprise yawn yawn.... So perhaps I will always remain Alias Amber in his eyes.