LIFE COACH

I went to a LIFE COACH talk the other night. It was held at a private members club on South Molton Street. I shouldn't be too mean about it as they did give me 3 months free membership (not that private then), its . You can usually gauge the level of ostentatious lack of style of these haunts by their loo design, and in this instance it was off the chain. Quilted padded doors that resembled the back of a leather sofa, and those annoying taps that turn themselves on automatically every time you move. The talk was on HOW TO GIVE THE PERFECT INTERVIEW and was given by a lovely lady, a 'you can take the girl out of Essex' type, wearing a silky sleeveless blouse that can only be found in NEXT, with arms that needed covering, and fish nets. She read from a script and lets face it, we can all google 'top 10 tips on giving a good interview'. Luckily I had read the E invite to see that it clearly stated in small writing that it was a PAY bar, so while all the PA type girls were ordering their Cosmos and Caipi's I stuck to the cucumber water.. it was fun watching them trying not to look surprised when their, its only a Monday night, bills were bought over... We learned that body language accounts for 90% of how people perceive you... You mean years of trawling through the FT for show has been a waste of time? We learned that we must tilt our head slightly during the interview, I can imagine my potential employer asking me 'Do you need to see a physio? She told us to keep eye contact for at least 10 seconds when answering a question, I would have to use my fingers for this which might prove distracting. She said that FEAR stands for False Evidence Appearing Real... and that under no circumstances should we be late for an interview.... £15 to find out that turning up 10 minutes late for an interview doesn't mean you are busy or cool. When I asked her how you answer about having any date gaps in your CV, she said , 'You can say you were traveling'! Yeah, my 2 week trip to Goa ended in 6 months... that's really impressive. So from now on GOOGLE is my new LIFE COACH.