Venus

I've had an average evening watching Wonders of the Solar System presented by Brian Cox.. . Brian has a permanent smile on his face, and, as well as being a particle physicist, used to be the the guitarist in D:Ream of "Things Can Only Get Better" fame.. I could go on but Wikipedia might do me for copyright. I made and ate a tasty butternut squash, celeriac and sage risotto.. the anni version.. without using any butter or cheese, and then read a story to my flat mates son Frank (aged 7). Frank is going through a faze of constantly putting his hands down his PJ's... So tonight I said "Will you please take your hand out of your PJ's... How would you feel if I did that all day?"... "Good" he said. Unbelievable! Wait 'til I tell his Mum.

Psychic Accountant

I am lucky enough to have a psychic for an accountant at work. She heals mind body and soul AND pays my invoices. I'm not sure that she predicts me a pay rise but today she saw me getting married!! I was just sitting at my desk writing a boring report intertwined with looking at hotels in New York when she said.. "I can see that you are going to get married in the next 2 to 3 years". Wow.. tell me more! Apparently my dress is off white, has straps, and my wedding cake is chocolate with lots of cream... I am getting married in bare feet, which saves on Louboutins, and pays for more cream. My engagement ring will be handed down from my husbands grandmother, or someone close to him, and may need adjusting... mmm adjusting.. an additional rock perhaps? I was loving every minute until BARBADOS ... I am getting married in Barbados... Am I marrying Michael Winner? Or Simon Cowell? Or are Sandals Holidays doing deals on wedding packages? I have been told that I must tell the Universe what it is that I wish for, so I might just tweak the location to another Carribbean Island called Parrot Cay and then I can invite Bruce Willis.

Best Western

I love Best Western Hotels... There, I said it. I stayed in one last night in a village near Brighton. I went there for one of my best friends wedding... and it was an altogether delightful experience. I tried to book a boutique 'contemporary' seafront hotel - wallpaper on one wall, suede head boards and fair trade coffee nonsense but they all make you stay for 2 nights of which we couldn't spare. The only other solution, suggested by one of my usually most stylish friends was to hire a Hummer to take us back to London.....the Best Western was starting to look like Claridges! Anyway my room was a dream, a mint green colour scheme with matching cushions, curtains and head board... a huge bath with Best Western shampoo and shower cap...... and the absolute clincher for me.. a kettle, highlights hot chocolate, 2 packets of shortbread and a mini bar courvoisier. While we waited for our taxi people were flocking to the Carvery... I watched, as a couple of ladies, clearly carrying a bit of extra timber, asked for every type of meat.... leaving very little room for onion rings - I couldn't fault it, everything was 'very well done'.. The puddings were under glass cabinets, it was like a 1970s pudding museum with profiteroles, fruit fools, lemon meringue pie and black cherry gateaux. I checked out this morning filling my pockets with Fox's Glacier Mints from the mahogany reception. There are 280 Best Westerns, all unique with there own charm and character... 1 down I say!

Quiz Night

It was quiz night in the school hall on Thursday night, and I actually got invited! More for entertainment value than contribution value... We ate a very bland veggie curry, and when I asked for some salt to try and give it a bit of flavour I was told that schools don't have salt and aren't allowed to add it....they should have put BYO salt on the invite not BYO booze. The first round was to name 6 very obscure flags... my team got them all bar one, a blue flag with a Union Jack flag in one corner and a sheep coat of arms in the other ..... my incredibly lucky guess.. The Falkland Islands was right! A flock of black birds is a 'murder', a group of chicks is a 'clutch' not 'Wags' as we put. Then there was the tasting round... I excelled at this, name the flavour crisp, fresh herb, cheese and chocolate.... not only did I give lime and chili flavour for the chocolate.. I knew the brand was Montezuma's AND the cocoa solids content.. surely an extra point! Then the bone of contention question... Who played Hannibal Lecter? The answer is actually both Anthony Hopkins and Brian Cox, Brian played him in the original film Manhunter.. so we (well not me) naturally put both names down ... the answer came as being Anthony with no mention of Brian.. UPROAR! Our markers tried to penalise us by giving us half a point! The rhyming slang round.. apple and pears, skin and blister, whistle and flute... "These questions are too BRIGHT AND BREEZY" I shouted out...Oops, was that really me? Unfortunately yes as everyone turned and gave me daggers. Would have been OK if I hadn't got one PETE TONG!

Tindersticks

I got a call last night from 'He who doth not want to be named' HE for short, to say that if I wanted something to blog about I could go with him to see Tindersticks at Shepherds Bush Empire. HE had obviously been blown out by someone, hence the last minute invite, and I had no idea who Tindersticks were, but for the love of BLog I said yes. TINDERSTICKS are a band from Nottingham (don't you love Wikipedia). The main man is called Stuart Staples and he sounds a bit like Leonard Cohen/Nick Cave and he has the biggest lamb chop side burns you've seen since Elvis. I spent the first half an hour of the gig thinking he had accidentally left his blue tooth ear piece in. Anyway I had absolutely no idea what to expect. If HE had said they are America's equivalent to Chaz and Dave I would have believed him. But no, this was 7 unbelievably talented musicians, proper incredible musicians playing more instruments than Wikipedia could care to mention... the vibraphonist was hot (wedding ring).... clocked it in the bar afterwards).

Blog Blunder

I am such a putz. A few pals told me I should take the plunge and post my blog link on FB for all to see. Last night, as my bath was running,I did just that. I then casually sauntered to the bathroom, dipped a toe in and thought FUCK! It wasn't that the water was too hot, but that I suddenly remembered I had made friends with my Dutch lover from GSoulMates on FB a few days before we met......and having taken the p slightly (i can't bring myself to highlight the mean things I said, but bald, he drives a hairdryer and NO were 3)...I literally pounced on my computer and deleted the link from my status... but shit it, someone had already seen it and commented, so what if he had clocked it too, within the 2 minutes before deletion? wow deletion is a word?... I had no idea how to delete a friend but needs did must, and I have never been so speedy at working something techie out... he was gone, removed, de friend ed... I feel terrible but will feel even more terrible if he reading this.... SORRY IF you are, last time I mention you I promise and the white BMW with 18" rims probably is really cool! Anyway I said on our date that I had liked Spurs since Vinnie Jones played for them, and you politely reminded me that Vinnie played for Wimbledon not Spurs.. oops.
Blog blunder no.1 of many I'm sure.

Botox

I went on a lovely family outing last Sunday. We went to a cast and crew screening of Nanny McPhee (small c big P) 2, and it was brilliant. On the drive home I realised there was now nothing between me and my internet dutch lover date at 3pm, other than a quick brush down to remove any pop corn kernels caught in my bra.... While we sat in traffic my sister decided that with less than an hour before my first ever blind date, she would use this as an opportunity to discuss my cosmetic surgery needs. It was like a doctor circling every pimple, dimple, crease and crevice on your face and body with a felt tip pen. Coming at you with a pair of secateurs all under one of those magnified mirrors with lights. 'Don't you think you should try botox?' she said. 'I mean it's not your fault, its from all the running' she continued. 'It's just that someone needs to be the guinea pig, so why not you?'. Apparently I could do with the diagonal line between my eyebrows freezing, my eye wrinkles plumping and reducing and while we have got the felt tip out, the removal of 3 moles, 'Are they spots or moles or what?' digging the sibling scissors in further. I went to my date feeling like a cross between Nanny McPhee, the She Devil with a bit of Worzel thrown in. I did however make it through my date confidently, in daylight, and without so much as a raised eye brow and with neither one of us mentioning the paper bag on my head.